Narrative by Peter

A colleague was pulling her hair because she couldn't understand why her team was falling behind on their benchmarks. According to her standards, she did everything right.

She came in early mornings, avoided office chatter and distractions, send follow-up emails after follow-up emails to check if projects were on schedule and attainments were achieved. In the evening, she tirelessly reviewed her pile of contracts and punctuated errors with her red marker and stickies. She was the office Gunner.

 She even skipped lunches because SHE was the hardest worker.

The thing was she was the program supervisor leading a team of counselors.

Now, let me tell you a thing about counselors. They LOVE to inspire and be inspired, especially when they feel they're doing something meaningful and they're GOOD at it. A little encouragement and inspiration can FUEL them for days! They are committed to fostering close, positive relationships and giving encouragement.

They also expect the SAME support from others. 

Do you see where this is going?

Not yet? Let me tell you.

Their supervisor -  the diligent, hardworking program supervisor - valued Competence, Diligence, and Discipline.

Her team of counselors valued inspiration, connection, and social support.

Was there a disconnect? YES. Yes there was.

If you're leading a team of counselors, you better be conveying to your clan that you are more than self-discipline and grit.

You've. Got. To. CARE.

They have to know that you care! They want to know whether you really care about your professional relationships, your staff, AND your end-clients.

Ok. Now let's look at this situation from a counselor's perspective.

Monday morning, you're coming in and the lights to the office are still dim. You see a glimmer of light coming out of your boss's door. You wonder to yourself, "How early SHOULD I be coming in? Am I underperforming?"

You go to your desk and you fire up your computer - 4 consecutive emails from your supervisor asking about status updates on different clients on your caseload. On your chair, the contracts you submitted end of day yesterday is laying on your chair with so many red marks and stickies like a bad Christmas present. 

Somehow, you feel demoralized already and you haven't even gotten your morning coffee. 

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Often times, we see people's differences as faults or misunderstandings to be corrected. In teams, there's CONSTANT frustration when our own "Common Sense" is not the COMMON PRACTICE of the team. 

In the case of the supervisor, she thinks "common sense" is just, "Get. It. Done"

There are also people who even feel they're being secretly judged because of how other people go about their business.

For the counselors, they felt demoralized by a distant supervisor who keeps to herself and whose limited interaction with them is focused on critique of their work and keeping the whip cracking on project deadlines. From what the supervisor conveyed, they felt more like slaves than professional counselors - and underperforming slaves at that!

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In each of us, we have a unique but DIFFERENT criteria for what is "good." For some, mercy and understanding is more important than their need for control and order. For others, compliments and praise should ONLY be given when it is earned - otherwise, it's inauthentic and worthless. 

As a leader, manager, or team member, we have the responsibility to ourselves and to our own development to understand these nuanced differences and figure a way to work around each others' weaknesses and nurture strengths. 

Most importantly, we need shared, non-threatening language to talk about differences so we don't overlook or write off people's needs. Instead, we can lean in to provide extra support and guidance so we can all get shit done.

I was conducting an organizational health assessment for a large department. They've been struggling with low morale, falling performances, and intermittent leadership for nearly a decade. When I met with a member on the leadership team, the 1-year-in manager said, "This department has a problem and that problem is laziness. There wouldn't be any problems if some people just do their damn job!" In other intake interviews, I've gotten on multiple occasions, "I'm not going to baby people and work around my staff! They're supposed to just do what I tell them." 

Really? And tell me how is that working for you? 

That's what we call - a lazy manager. That's the same person who is hitting a wall with his team every single day and refusing to see reality for what it really is. Whose only solution is to wield their power to intimidate and fire. People don't change their behaviors because it's convenient for managers. They change because they want to. And guess what? Anyone can LEARN how to identify people's central motivations, speak their language and influence behavior.

We live in a diverse, dynamic world. We all need to learn how to co-exist and adapt when necessary to the people we work with, live with, and love.

Don't let laziness get in the way of your development as a decent human being. With our process - you're going to find that the journey is incredibly challenging but valuable, enlightening, and fun.

The MBTI is one of our core training and coaching tools. We bring a framework to you and your team to understand how people get energized differently, take in information differently, make decisions differently, and interact with the world differently. 

After we're done, you'll see why DIFFERENCE is a  POSITIVE QUALITY in a team. On top of that, learning  how to manage tough situations with different personality types is actually GRATIFYING. You're going to feel good about yourself for how you thoughtfully managed your team through challenges. 

Personality coaching and training with the MBTI leads people to have higher expectations for their interactions with others and engagement with diversity. In time, you'll feel clear and confident in your ability to lead teams and communicate across differences.

These are lessons that will last a lifetime and don't stop when you check out of the office. You can transform your relationships in both your professional and personal life - to a better you.

Interested in learning what the MBTI is about? Check out our MBTI Personality Assessment tool.